As of now, I am emotionally, physically and mentally drained cause of so many things I've been dealing with lately and tonight I really burst out on the phone with my boyfriend begging him to be there for me even though I know he's too drained from work too. Hoping he can find a bit of energy left in him to just be there for me. I felt really really bad afterwards cause all I heard was snores.
Though he went off to sleep, I can't blame him for the negligence coz he did tried his best waking himself up trying to wanna talk to me, but it's just one of his weaknesses that whenever he's too sleepy and tired he just dozed of without knowing.
After all the crying, I felt relaxed afterwards thinking. I also did a little research online on 'Becoming Emotionally Self-Reliant' and it made me understand that it is only me, I'm the only one who's letting myself unhappy. I'm causing all this drama and all it will ever do to my relationship is to bruise it.
I know this takes a lot of courage and independence to be able to do things on your own specially if you got so used to people always being there for you. Thinking about all the list in my head and it's already scaring me whether if I can do it all on my own. Like going to the mall, eating by yourself, traveling, going to the cinema, etc. It's scary! But remember, there aren't any changes in your life that isn't scary in the first place. Everything may look scary at first but soon you'll thank yourself that you have finally overcome it. Take a leap of faith, do something you really wanna do for the longest time.
You may also wanna read this as it really helped me cope up: Becoming Emotionally Self-Reliant
